I’m a mother to one. And it feels like I’m mother to a dozen. Having just recently found out about the subtype of autism called PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) my head is spinning with a new-found understanding of the level of exhaustion I feel. All the moments of absolute bafflement around certain behaviours, the profound sense of disorientation when all the parenting skills recommended actually backfired and made things worse are now making sense – at least as much sense as something that doesn’t make sense can make sense. While on a 14 hour flight across the world, directly after a very physical, hour long melt-down around my 6 year old daughter getting comfortable enough to fall asleep, I listened to a couple of podcasts that loosed tears of relief in recognition of what I’ve been experiencing. I say “I” while also honouring that my partner’s experience as well as my child’s are strongly impacted too, but for the purpose of this blog I won’t attempt to speak for them. I simply need a place to absorb and process the impact of this knowledge on my life moving forward. And honestly, it’s my hope that other parents who absolutely delight in their kids yet are feeling the overwhelm might recognize something in my words that offers the same validation and direction I’ve been gifted.